Ever Done Something "Different" or "Stupid"?

[Titan]

People are impulsive. Did you ever look at that solid iron one winter and tell yourself "don't do it"? But you still walked up there, right, and put your tongue against it? It's stupid! Ever stared at that stungun until voices in your head said you just HAVE to taze yorself? Stupid!

This morning, I woke up with a different thought. I wondered what it's like to escape a car underwater. Working to get enough air into the lungs before opening the window, letting the compartment fill up with water, and escape. It could happen by accident. Or maybe you raced a car down the pool just to get the thought out of your head? Different!

All the above is stupid or different. Your pick. But what did it feel like? What was it like when your mother ran out with hot water on your swelling tongue? Or the electricity from the tazer shot through your body? What's it like escaping that car?

Your story doesn't have to be funny. It's kinda meant to keep the reader from wanting to do what you did -- unless it was good,-- or if found in that situation, know what to do.

Share the experiences people are unlikely to have!

[Arie-Kanarie]

I once thought it would be funny to drive on my bike's front wheel from a steep hill. It went well for half a second, then I made a nice sommersault with my bike.

[MZN]

Last week I was a bit tired and the whole day I'd push the door if the sign said pull and vice versa.

If I would buy something and use my pin (or Atm card or whatever) I'd slide it the wrong way around trough the slot while there are stickers on it that says "Magnetic strip this side".

[Sampo]

I was driving home one winter night at about 80 km/h and decided to see if the car would stay on the road if I make it spin uncontrollably. So I jerk the steeringwheel hard left and pull the hand brake. I don't remember how many times the car did spin but for a while it looked like I was going to hit a post/road sign between the lanes. Car stopped just a few meters before.
I felt lucky that I didn't hit that post. Maybe it was stupid, but I just wanted to see how it would work out.

[Grant Ellis]

I am the self-proclaimed KING of stupid things.

1) For a pair of Metallica tickets I once "misty-flipped" on a pair of skates through a flaming hoola-hoop wearing nothing but a baby-blue ballet tutu. I crashed the hoop down, caught on fire, burned a little, and didn't get the tickets! No crap.

2) I threw my body (fully dressed with shoes and all)off a 45 foot cliff into the Stanislaus river because noone else was jumping off the cliff. I caught pneumonia and had a lot of strain from swimming back to shore.

3) At age 9, I mooned an old-timey paddleboat (The Dixie) while it was filled with the elderly. I think a woman fainted.

4) I called Gary Goodridge a "n00b" on Sherdog when he first joined and got reprimanded and almost banned.

5) I dressed up like David Bowie circa 1972 for a day at school years ago and nearly got ran over by the homophobes.

6) In Brazil, before I had a perfect grasp on the language, I kept calling this girl "Paulinha GALINHA!" really loud, which loosely translates to "Paulinha the Chicken", but actually means "Paulinha the BITCH!"

7) That damn streetfight where I won by the choke. Yeah, it was kind of cool, but it was also stupid and dangerous.

8) Pulled a prank (dead-letter drop operation) on the FBI and was under surveillance for weeks or months, but it felt like years.

9) I was auditioning to become a nude model once, and I was in good shape(back in my fighting days) and while kneeing a heavybag (in the auditions) I brought the knee up too high and leaned forward and KNEED MYSELF IN THE FACE UNCONCIOUS!!!! I was KO'd! And it was on tape... and ended up on the internet...

[Shinbone]

I am the self-proclaimed KING of stupid things.

1) For a pair of Metallica tickets I once "misty-flipped" on a pair of skates through a flaming hoola-hoop wearing nothing but a baby-blue ballet tutu. I crashed the hoop down, caught on fire, burned a little, and didn't get the tickets! No crap.

2) I through my body (fully dressed with shoes and all)off a 45 foot cliff into the Stanislaus river because noone else was jumping off the cliff. I caught pneumonia and had a lot of strain from swimming back to shore.

3) At age 9, I mooned an old-timey paddleboat (The Dixie) while it was filled with the elderly. I think a woman fainted.

4) I called Gary Goodridge a "n00b" on Sherdog when he first joined and got reprimanded and almost banned.

5) I dressed up like David Bowie circa 1972 for a day at school years ago and nearly got ran over by the homophobes.

6) In Brazil, before I had a perfect grasp on the language, I kept calling this girl "Paulinha GALINHA!" really loud, which loosely translates to "Paulinha the Chicken", but actually means "Paulinha the BITCH!"

7) That damn streetfight where I won by the choke. Yeah, it was kind of cool, but it was also stupid and dangerous.

8) Pulled a prank (dead-letter drop operation) on the FBI and was under surveillance for weeks or months, but it felt like years.

So, you basically summed up your criminal record?:P

[Grant Ellis]

And you read that BEFORE I PUT IN NUMBER 9, which a friend reminded me I left off!

[Shinbone]

And you read that BEFORE I PUT IN NUMBER 9, which a friend reminded me I left off!

Now I want to know what number 9 is!

Oh I see, I just saw it, hillarious! Where can we find that on the internet?

[Titan]

9) I was auditioning to become a nude model once, and I was in good shape(back in my fighting days) and while kneeing a heavybag (in the auditions) I brought the knee up too high and leaned forward and KNEED MYSELF IN THE FACE UNCONCIOUS!!!! I was KO'd! And it was on tape... and ended up on the internet...
Unless you're nude while kneeing the heavy bag -- which is a kinda weírd thing to imagine, I admit, -- what's the URL?

[ArtOfWar]

Damn, Grant is really...eccentric with a capital S :P

One of my stories. At a party following a stressful day of a biz trip in Singapore, the gorgeous assistant of the country manager asked me to accompany her on the reverese bungee jump in Clarke Quay. The fact that she had most gorgeous bosom (and was not the least bit shy about showing quite a bit); shorts short enough to be classified as hot pants were not helping either.

Too many beers had been consumed and I slugged in another one to stop my knees from quaking, climbed in to the pod (thats what they call it, but a chair would be closer to the mark) with her trying to feign a brave face and all. The country manager and a bunch of middle aged idiots with too much beer in them were cheering and prancing around like 20 year olds.

The pod shot up, the lady heaved up the contents of her stomach setting of a chain reaction from my side also. It rained chunks mixed with beer right onto the heads of 20 most powerful execs in my company. They sobered up in a hurry after that. Judy and I are still considered heroes in the Singapore office for that event :P

The different / stupid part is getting on that contraption in the 1st place. It shoots you up at over 200 mph, reaches over 60 m in height, reaches that speed and height in about 3 seconds...and you have no fucking clue about when its about to launch you.

[( o Y o )]

The pod shot up, the lady heaved up the contents of her stomach setting of a chain reaction from my side also. It rained chunks mixed with beer right onto the heads of 20 most powerful execs in my company. They sobered up in a hurry after that. Judy and I are still considered heroes in the Singapore office for that event :P

ROTFLMAO....I am literally pissing myself laughing at my desk here with everyone around it wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.

I guess I have partaken in my share of stupidity.

One of the earliest I remember was when I was around 12 or 13. There was a near verticle hill in the forrest not far from my house with 2 tracks that went down about 70m to the bottom where they merged into one. We used to have "death races" down with one guy on each track flying down and seeing who would reach the bottom first. My second turn came, and my "opponent" was a guy a few years older and far bigger. We flew down the track....merged at the same time, and next thing I was airborne after colliding with him. I must have hit my head on something as the next thing I remember was waking up and seeing my mother walking up the track with one of my mates, which would have taken a good 20 to 30 minutes to get to.

From there the more usual ones....car roof surfing in the highway. Having a friend hit us "softly" with his car and we'd roll up the bonnet and then back down. lol That was fun til one mate didn't roll and the windscreen caved in. Dripping burning nylon rope on myself to see how much pain I could tolerate. And a couple I'd rather forget. lol

[ArtOfWar]

I must have hit my head on something

...now THAT explains everything!!!!

Burning Nylon, DAMN!!! BTW, I'm sure everyone is waiting with baited breath to here the couple of other incidents you're trying to forget.

I thought of a few more although I'm not even coming close to Grant here:

1. Shaved my mother's prized Russian Blue because it annoyed me

2. Wanted to find out if super glue was really super and stuck my thumb and forefinger together. Tried to get it apart with a knife...

3. Tried to make an extra hole in a belt with a swiss knife. The blade snapped back slicing my thumb into half length-ways

4. Drove through McDonald's naked due to losing a bet. Actually ended up dating the woman at the drive through window.

5. Demonstrated the jump spinning kick to my Asian history professor in college and accidentally made contact with his face knocking out 3 of his teeth --> Oh, he wasn't happy at all

6. Kinda adult level, but what the hell. Was making out with my ex GF in an empty, dark theater to have 40 members of the theater club barge in at the crucial moment

7. In order to get near my current wife, had to first convince her damn family DOG (German Sheppard brute) to let me near her. Spent 3 days feeding the bastard about $20 worth of beef jerkies.. ah...those college days

8. Tried to impress my wife during my 1st time at skiing by going down the black diamond. Cost me an arm and a leg (literally).

9. Did not chloroform a frog obtained for dissection enough. It jumped out of the tray right at the female teacher's assistant during my finals in the biology lab spilling its guts out.--> Oh, she wasn't happy at all. And she was definitely not buying the excuse that the frog wanted to give its heart to her.

10. Was spacing while driving. Ended up stopping for a red light RIGHT ON THE TRAIN TRACKS. Sure enough, the signal for the 'coming train' started sounding. Managed to squeeze in between 3 cars just 10 seconds before the train passed the spot we were on. Dont know which gave me a greater shock, actually realizing I was on the tracks or my wife's screaming

[Dado]

9) I was auditioning to become a nude model once, and I was in good shape(back in my fighting days) and while kneeing a heavybag (in the auditions) I brought the knee up too high and leaned forward and KNEED MYSELF IN THE FACE UNCONCIOUS!!!! I was KO'd! And it was on tape... and ended up on the internet...

HAhahahaha man that has to be better than Afro Ninja!

[Toffa]

What happened to my post? I thought it was both funny and informative :D

Its hard to believe some of the things in Grants and ArtofWar's posts even happened lol, very hilarious.

I have done plenty of stupid things, none really life threatening though. For example my neighbours and I always used to have rock fights in the yard, the game would be temporarily paused whenever someone got hit in the head :p Made alot of sparkler bombs and completely melted a bin.

I was with my cousins when I was around 13 at a park where some teenagers had constructed a jump with a hole right behind it. All these kids were riding up over the jump and the hole fine so I tried it, of course they all had fast little bmxs and I had a big mountain bike, my knee hit the edge of the hole, hard.

Another time two years ago, when I was 17 my mate and I with two girls were heading back over to his house because his parents were on holidays. We stocked up with cruisers for the girls ;) which I and my mate were carrying. I was walking out in front and onto a crossing which I noticed had a police car waiting, I was terrified, I just sprinted in the opposite direction and they never followed.

Something pretty stupid, last year my ex boss and I were going to hook up but we didnt know where, so we drove around and I suggest the park, so we proceed to ... on a playground at 2am. Then we christened her car lol, and drove me home.

[Grant Ellis]

Kakutougi should require all new moderators to pick and choose at least 3 things from ArtOfWar's list and/or my own as initiation ;)

[( o Y o )]

Burning Nylon, DAMN!!!

Wasn't nearly as painful as I had expected either.

Your #3 reminds me of one of my own. I used to collect any sort of weapon related to martial arts as we used to train with most of them at my dojo. Anyway, back then balisong knives weren't illegal and I had one or two cheap ones and was very good with all the different methods of opening them. Anyway, near my house they had some contry festivalor something, and one stall was full of knives, including one beautiful gold double bladed balisong. I went to flick it open and closed to get a feel for it but as it was brand new the joints were still a bit sticky and when I reached for one of the arms with my four fingers to pull it down to the arm held in the joint of my thumb, my little finger didn't reach the top arm and I shut the knife on it. Cut the pad of that finger clean to the bone....which was a brilliant white for a split second before the bleeding began and just flooded my hand. lol

[ArtOfWar]

^^^^ OUCH! Ow ow ow ow ow ow! Things like those are more painful to watch than experience.

Not to turn this into a masochistic thread, but more than the slicing, what really hurt was my father forcing me to dip the mutilated thumb into a bowl of hydrogen peroxide to prevent infection. That hurt like a mofo. My father admitted that being one of the stupid things he's done...so I can blame genetics here.

[( o Y o )]

LMAO....chip off the old block eh?

I dripped blood all the way home with my hand clenched into a fist.....bandaged it myself and told my parents it was just a little cut. It clearly needed stitching but I didn't want to hear any rants on how dangerous these things were from them :-S

[Baggen]

Or the electricity from the tazer shot through your body?

Share the experiences people are unlikely to have!


Tried a tazer on myself 200 000 volts.. the medium strenght bought in germany on a party trip with army buddies to celebrate it was over.

will at the ferry home after a few beers it was time to try it out... put it against my leg for the first try and klicked the tigger.. didnt hurt much but the leg was jumping due to muscles contracting. Tried it on my stomac aswell same result there... never went for putting it against my head though.

[Grant Ellis]

There's also something else I need to add to mine...but it might lead to me being banished from the board...lol

[Toffa]

Well lets hear it

[ArtOfWar]

Hey, here is one of my best:

Worked as a IT back office manager and send out a mail to 3000 users informing them of power shutdown for a Disaster Recovery Testing. The mail was perfect except the ending read:

Thank you for your understanding

Retards,

Dxxxx Hxxxxx.

[Jofeljoh!]

LOL!

that's classic

[( o Y o )]

ROTFFLMAO...that is a fucking classic mate. LOL

[FieldingMellish]

In 1999 I spent 10 days in Romania with a amte who was teaching English over there.

He was based in this horrible town called Pitesti. Anyway, on the first night there we went out with some of his students. WE got COMPLETELY pissed up and a couple of his students ended up taking him home. I was still there in the nightclub getting wasted with an American Peace Corps guy and the remaioning students. Eventually the club decided to shut and they turfed us out.

At this point I realised I had NO idea where I was meant to be going. One of the students offered to walk me home. On the way we ran into a huge pack (like about 15) feral dogs (there's tons of them in that area) and this student was looking scared. However, I knew exactly how to deal with the situation.

I ran at the dogs howling and barking and fell over in the road. I didn't remember this until being told the story in detail the next day.

Oh, and Rabies is fairly rife in feral dogs in that area.

[FieldingMellish]

I currently work as an Access Officer for my city's museum service. That means I deal with disability issues. About three months into the job I had a group of incredibly nice blind and visually impaired mostly elderly people come and audit one of our museums to see how we could improve things for them.

Through sheer stupidity, the wind and a really fucking crappy door, I managed to lock them inside the building while locking myself out.

[MZN]

Oh, and Rabies is fairly rife in feral dogs in that area.

So instead of RagingMellish you could have been RabidMellish?

[FieldingMellish]

So instead of RagingMellish you could have been RabidMellish?

Given the medical care in that particular part of the country, and the likelihood I'd probably have forgotten even being bitten, I'd have been DeadMelllish I think.

[ArtOfWar]

One question FM, how did you get back in the building? Ladies and Gentlemen, Fielding Mellish has left the building....:P *ROFL*, great ones mate!

Here is my boo-boo of the day. PMed Boobs and he thought it was good enough to place here:

Imagine you with a PC connected to a projector and you're typing on a powerpoint slide. 5-6 execs are watching you as you put in an additional slide and start typing the title at Font: Arial, size 36.

You intend to type 'Test' but your left hand is off by one key and ends up pushing letters on the left of what you intended. You get the 1st 'T' and last 't' correct, but your left hand messes up the 'es' part.

WHAT DO YOU GET?! TELL ME! WTF DO YOU GET?!

Anyways, stop imagining now, that was me today during a presentation on SDLC :P

[urdum]

One question FM, how did you get back in the building? Ladies and Gentlemen, Fielding Mellish has left the building....:P *ROFL*, great ones mate!

Here is my boo-boo of the day. PMed Boobs and he thought it was good enough to place here:

Imagine you with a PC connected to a projector and you're typing on a powerpoint slide. 5-6 execs are watching you as you put in an additional slide and start typing the title at Font: Arial, size 36.

You intend to type 'Test' but your left hand is off by one key and ends up pushing letters on the left of what you intended. You get the 1st 'T' and last 't' correct, but your left hand messes up the 'es' part.

WHAT DO YOU GET?! TELL ME! WTF DO YOU GET?!

Anyways, stop imagining now, that was me today during a presentation on SDLC :P


Uhmm... Twat?

[K1power]

Lol at TWAT! Good going there AOW!

[MZN]

Don't do execs have a sense of humor?

Or are we too childish? :)

[ArtOfWar]

Uhm, lets just say it changed the course of a really boring meeting :P

Thanks K1 *smirk*

[FieldingMellish]

One question FM, how did you get back in the building? Ladies and Gentlemen, Fielding Mellish has left the building....:P *ROFL*, great ones mate!

Luckily there was still somebody else in the building, because and only because they were working overtime a little just like me. Right at the other end of the building. Two floors down in a tiny backoffice. I managed to alert them and they opened the door to let me back in as I felt very, very silly.

The group of people auditing the building still have no idea any of this happened.

[ArtOfWar]

...I felt very, very silly.


Very difficult for you to do I presume? *lol* I can feel the embarassment mate. The doggie incident...well, you were drunk and aggressive; those dogs are lucky they got out of your way.

But to lock a bunch of innocent, physically challenged people in a building; you're going to hell for sure. I'll see you there :P